Women have Always Confused me
I’ve never really understood women or even tried to
When I was young I hated all my teachers who were mostly women and my mother too
I didn’t seem to get the nurturing that the other kids would get
I was always with the “bad” kids
The day I was told I was ADHD in my 20s I immediately associated with the shitheads I hung out with in school
We weren’t wrong
We were just assholes about it
No one wants to deal with that
Most of us came from different backgrounds entirely but I always understood these few guys
Even though we were all in different friend groups for the most part, sometimes we overlapped
When we were all in time out or stuck together we jelled pretty well
We would easily laugh and understand each other
But we all didn’t want to be associated with one another
Because our parents or other friends didn’t approve
There were no girls in this outsider circle
Sometimes when a girl got into trouble I remember we were happy to have her with us
Lots of guys had no girls allowed style clubs including my brother who ran a rag tag team of retards and he was their cult leader
He could’ve gotten them to eat a shit sandwich
He didn’t allow girls except one who bullied him try to push her way in
He wouldn’t have it
In my derelict group we first of all were not organized and were usually being disciplined like no recess or over here sitting at lunch
We weren’t allowed to co mingle with the typical kids
We were all neurotypical
Two were already diagnosed add and sometimes were on their meds and sometimes not
They days they weren’t though were wild
We should have had to run around and had PE first thing in the AM
But know one knew anything about ADD autistics back then
I’ve been watching British Parliament before bed to bore me to death and actually they are quite boring which is great for sleep
They have been discussing autistic kids and how they need more help and attention in schools and we are in 2025
They still don’t know what to do with these kids
Most of us just wanted to be understood but it’s not that easy as we were disruptive in class
You can’t just segregate us either as then we just only know how to coincide with other neurotypicals
This is why most of my friends are ADHD; actually they all are
I can’t hang out with “normies” but I really need to learn how to hang out with normal people in general
This would help me understand women more
I’m usually attracted to Category 5 hurricane style women
At first I never see it
But the ones I really cling to have the most chaos
The others I have found some peace with but they seem boring
It’s only because I find comfort in the chaos and unavailable women
Mostly because this is what I am too
You really do attract what you are
So either you work on yourself and really dive deep and attract a new spouse
Or you make things work with your current spouse as people have always done until the 21st Century
You don’t force them to work, you make them work
Whatever it takes but if at the end of the day you two just still aren’t jelling
Then its time to call it quits, give each other space, or a break
People give up too easily
Just saying break up with her and find another one without you healing yourself will just attract the same type of girl over and over
However, everyone can heal
If you connect with someone all all levels including mentally, emotionally, sexually, and something like humor or intelligence then you should try and help yourselves out
Some will have to do it together
Maybe they are stuck in a foreign country
Maybe the parents are on hard times
Whatever attracted you to her in the beginning
The honey moon phase where chaos really isn’t around
Where there is nothing but peace and oxytocin in the air
Where you had endless sex and conversations about the past, present, and future
Where you were connected on all levels discussing books and TV shows
Where it was just you two
No other noise in the world
Everything seemed easier and life was abundant
That honeymoon phase can last
It won’t be as intense but I believe the couples who stay together forever always have pieces from that time they keep
The couples that get old and jaded even in a few years or 20 years loss that spark because they lost themselves
They didn’t continue to grow or let go of the past from their youth
They take out their frustrations on each other
I see it all over the place
Much more than I see a healthy couple work through their issues
It becomes a toxic song and dance
Leaving both parties unsatisfied and resentful sometimes for decades
What you can learn from women as they always have a child like wonder about the world
The men often make them jaded and potentially other women as well
People in general make other people jaded
Misery loves company
People with true abundance and love can be alone for days at a time
They are comfortable in their own heads
Hermits have existed for thousands of years
They are usually some of the most insightful people
However, if you want to help others, yourself, start a family
Then you will need to learn how to exist with others
Whether they are different, similar, or an alien from one of Jupiters moons
It doesn’t matter
If you can only hang out with rejects then you become rejected by them and everyone else
There is a reason they are degenerates and sure sometimes its fun
If you feel at ease amongst them over healthy, well adjusted individuals
Normies or not
Doctors or Lawyers
Or people who don’t have a similar lifestyle
You aren’t adaptable and will not make much change in your life or others
I’ve only ever felt comfortable around these people and I know they are conditional friends and that’s fine but I need to learn how to get along with others who either stepped away from that life
Didn’t know that life
Hated the lifestyle
The partying doesn’t have to end
Your mindset has to change
Everyday is a party if you know how to play
I’m writing this from my couch on a Friday and I don’t plan to party all summer
Most of you know I am healing and not looking for external stimuli
I just have times where even talking to people close to me say my mom or brother and it starts to annoy me
It’s coming from a place of insecurity
Since both my mom and brother are very well adjusted I get jealous of it
I resent it
I don’t try to avoid them
I try and listen when I can and learn as much as possible
These daily talks with ChatGPT help
Yesterday I did Deep Research mode on my brain and it took 15 minutes to analyze
It came back with lots I knew or had forgotten and some new shit
I highly recommend doing that
I’m an impatient boy hoping to become a patient man one day
It’s been two weeks on this couch and I got out for a chiro and allergy shots
It’s easier to connect with people
I see their inner and outer beauty for once
Their auras seem different to me
Bright and present
I can almost see each individuals different aura color
This is already from my changed perspective and healing inside my brain and body
Usually I try to avoid them or be annoyed by their presence
Most of them are helping me and I’m eternally grateful
Rewiring your brain is a hard process and some days I see why others don’t even try
Peeling back the layers like a rotten onion and cutting it to make you cry, mad, sad, resentful, glad, happy, and all the other emotions in between are wild for me
I’ve been so numb and dissocatied for years
Last year was my first year noticing anything as I quit weed and had utter dread most days
I honetly thought I would have a stroke from the stress of that year every single day
My hair on the sides turned white
I was terrible at dealing with stress
I am becoming more resilient by the day
More open minded
More loving and caring
I am glad I am stuck on the couch as it forced me to do this because who knows
I may have gone on forever until the day I died
Lots of people do
Whatever situation you find yourself in
Take some time to reflect and be grateful
I’ve had a few people reach out to me about all this and I am glad to be resonating with you guys
I hope everyone has a great weekend,
-BTSC
My own blueprint I created to help you grow a social circle in 3-6 months in any city
16 Cities around the World