Topics we will be covering in Depth

An introduction into the important aspects of Social Circle Game

I found this piece of writing that I wrote two years ago. Read it to discover the topics we will be perusing. If you don’t understand some of these concepts at first that’s fine because I will be writing about all of these in depth

Define Your Life

Defining the lifestyles access you want and the type of people you want around you is a very important step in the process. Most people are friends with people by happenstance because the work together or go to school together. It is especially important in nightlife to define what kind of relationships you want because they are a lot of scuzzbo's out and about. Make sure your core group shares the same values as you. For example, if your friends go out 3-4 nights a week chasing girls, you may want to pull away from such a scarce reason to go out. Sure going out to meet girls is fun but if its just random fun on random days you will get no where and have to start over every night. Start by befriending the bartenders and bouncers of the places you go. Show up often and when it is not busy. This is an easy way to get free drinks and get some friends who are involved in the nightlife industry. From here you can segue into other regulars or patrons who look like they understand your values the most. Ask the bartenders who their favorite patrons are. They are good a people reading and will introduce you to their friends. This is a great way to meet potential dates or friends along the way. Do this for a couple weeks in a row then you can come back whenever are the staff will know you adding an element of social proof to yourself. In my experience I have found Sunday’s and Wednesday’s to be the best days and nights to go out overall. The staff isn’t too busy and there are a good amount of patrons on both nights. The weekend nights are usually too busy for you make any meaningful impact at first.

If you can try to go with any kind of friend at first. It is best to find a confidant or best friend you can discuss the nights out with. They will help you meet new people and usually they can be very helpful in listening to any problems or solutions you have. Don’t just use them as a shrink and relay all your problems on them. Listen to their problems and help them out when you can. The next step is to getting a core group of friends who are both male and female. They may not always go out with you but when you see them at the same 3-4 spots you go they will always be people you can talk to. Get to know their friends too. Think of all this like a chain gang or climbing a rope slowly. Eventually you will get to the top and have no idea what to do. You will have to come down and help new people on the scene to help them find potential dates and friends. Eventually you will know so many people you will find need excuses not to go out.

Where you live in any given city matters

This is as important as which city you live in. These principles can apply to any given city in the world but if you live in the suburbs of a big city you are really setting yourself up for failure. Renting a studio or one bedroom where all the action is when you are single is an important step. Ideally you want to be able to walk to the nearest nightlife. This will help you establish all the principles in the first article. The farther you are the less likely you are to do anything and how will you get girls back to your place? Are you going to be hosting pregames or post games ? Are you going to be hosting parties? Are you going to be going to these type of events? What kind of events do you want to go to and what kind of friends to you want to have? What kind of female friends do you want and what kind of girls do you want to date? Most people audit their professional life. For example, If you want to be an orthodontist there is a clear path defined by society to get there. You have to do more work than say a dentist would. This is how you should treat your dating life and set up a lifestyle conducive to your values. Nightlife is an integral part of all this if going to clubs and high end bars isn’t your idea of a good time, go to happy hours and museum art openings. Most things are going to be done at night at first. A cheat code to avoiding nightlife activity is doing Sunday brunch. The fickle 500 in any big city is out during this time every single week. You can come and go as you please. Usually to Segway into a group on Sunday, you have to participate in some nighttime activity. Not in all cases but most.

This type of lifestyle doesn’t need to go on forever. Ideally it will take about 3 months to set up in a given “come up” city ie Vegas, Miami, Austin. Other cities like Kansas City and NYC will be much harder to break into their social circles. You will want to establish commonalities with these people and provide some sort of value to the group. If you are photographer this can be huge for any modern day group. You could become a promoter or host of a club. Or even a psedopromoter. You can be a connector when you meet more people and introduce people to each other. There is plenty of roles you can take on to help any given group.

Instagram is a weapon

Always remember social media is fake and that’s okay. You can use apps like Snap chat and instagram to boost your perceived status. Some girls respond to money status, or even the car you drive. For short term relationships these are great things to have. If you want a girlfriend then make sure the girl isn’t using you and enjoys being around you. A good way to test this by having her over to your place and simply listening to music. This will allow you two to talk and get to know one another. Use Instagram as a tool. Get pictures and highlights to improve your page. Make a decent bio to keep people interested. Post as much to your story as possible. Instagram is the modern day business card for anyone. Ever asked for someones linkden before? Maybe but unlikely, you can go stalk them there on your back up account. For now accept Instagram as your go to tool for getting a rolodex of people. Eventually this builds up to where everyone is watching your stories and liking your posts. This will create an element of fomo. People will start inviting you to events. They will start sliding into your dms. This creates a nice passive element for when you want to take a break from going out as many people do and get JOMO (Joy of missing out) I like to use snapchat for the filters as my approach in a loud club. 90% of the time girls respond positively to filters and is a great way to get hitter info in a loud club allowing you to tag them in your story then adding them. Get the archetype you like, copy a similar persons page on IG that you look up to and take similar style photos ideally never looking at the camera, creating a cinematic style view of yourself. An archetype can be lifestyle, business or philanthropy. Break the 4th wall on a photo or two to show some personality. Breaking the 4th wall simply means to look at the camera. I highly recommend you getting the iPhone as they have a fanatics camera and people respond better to blue texts, its a built in commonality and they feel safe. A few examples of good IG accounts is Justin Ross Lee and Kurt Benz. Justin Ross Lee is a New York socialite who has written na lot about social dynamics. Kurt Benz is a realtor that gets clients by having a fun lifestyle. Everything is setup but nothing looks posed. This is exactly what you want to be doing. Girls will definitely appreciate this element, it’s better than having a nice haircut. Eventually this becomes so passive you won’t have to do anything for IG anymore. You can start adding people at random at all the spots you find on instagram. These people will then recognize you when you are out and about. They will come up to you giving you a celebrity effect. At first this is cool, later on as people get to know you, you become part of a huge group known at the Fickle 500.

The Fickle 500

Every city has the Fickle 500 of people who go out. They decide the new “cunty’ spots in town. These people have access to nightclub sections, photoshoots, videoshoots, and tend to be regulars of the same places every single week. Once you are apart of this group, everything tends to fall into place. A lot of life is how you set everything up. I have touched on the Fickle 500 in previous blog posts as well as setting up your life to be exactly how you want it. I wanted to write more about this core group of individuals. These people have been referred to as “high status” meaning they have some sort of status or clout in their subgroup in the Fickle 500. These people can own restaurants, clubs, and bars. One of the best ways to meet these people is through Instagram via DM. However, what do you do when you eventually meet with them in person? You need to find commonalities and keep a very low profile. Keep a low footprint when you first start going out. This doesn’t mean you can cause a scene. In fact it is the opposite. A scene could be buying shots or riling people up somehow. I like to go to the Dj introduce myself and ask if he wants a drink or if he wants to meet some girls. A lot of nights I am simply befriended a DJ, huge around his area for a minute or two and people will come up. The manager of one of the sister restaurants to a local nightclub came up to me after doing this once. Now every time I am there we talk and I introduce him to new people. If this seems to intimating talk with the bouncer on a slow night. This will allow you to get in when it is really crowded as well as getting away with wearing shorts or very casual outfits too. A sister restaurant is a place where a nightclub will promote their club at the restaurant usually on a week night and invite new faces to the club for the weekend. A lot of times you can get free tickets or put on the guest list. The first time I met one of the owners to one of the main clubs in town was through the sister restaurant. I saw this guy in a Dolce and Gabana tracksuit and decided to wave him over. I introduced him to my friend and said it was our first time there. He told us to stop by the club that weekend and gave me his card and put my on the “VIP” guest list. (I would later learn there is no such thing)

A lot of the time people have incentives to have other people show up. Like getting added to a special list and then walking on the 10 foot red carpet. Another way is getting models to show up is by having a photographer at these events. Most photos can be shot on the iPhone nowadays. But having a photographer with a big camera and light gives people the red carpet experience. I have been at many photoshoots where the photographer uses his camera and light about half the time, the films on his phone or takes shots from there. One way to arrange a photoshoot is to reach out to photographers on Instagram. Most of the time he will bring the models he wants to shoot. If not you can message models as well. The last step is finding a location. I have seen people do a shoot in a small studio apartment. Provide either a location or models to the photographer and then get some behind the scenes shot on your phone and send those images to him. This is a great way to provide some value for the shoot. I have hosted a shoot with a cheerleader on a NFL team as well as a huge shoot with 7-8 models coming and going. Most of the time shoots are 100% free. They are on average one hour long. The bigger ones you will need booze and food, have everyone pitch in or just grab it yourself for extra brownie points. Either way you do it, its cheaper than going out and some of the girls you can’t meet otherwise. After the shoot invite them to another shoot or get some food after. You can also invite them to go out. This will give you some preselection and social proof

Preselection is where women trust you and like you. Social Proof is generally when you are approved by people in general but in this case we will say males approve of you. Imagine walking into your favorite venue with 2-3 models and a photographer. Do you know how fast you will become part of the fickle 500? Do this at a happening spot in town and the first night out you will meet everyone important. This will give you opportunities to go out with other people after this. This is also a way to get free drinks. A lot of bartenders will comp girls. I have been out with a much older buddy of mine. He doesn’t allow me to pay for anything and then I just appear with girls or approach some and he buys us all drinks or a bottle. This all seems superficial or fake to get things for free but in reality a lot of these people have become good friends of mine. Some of them are conditional friends and that’s okay. Drinking buddies, table buyers, and bartender friends. Other I have met unconditional friends where our commonalities are so strong that we go out a lot together. I have met big scouting agents and big photographers that I go out with every week, but am transitioning into just going out once a month with them. You get to set the rules on how often you want to go out. As you meet more people this will probably be less and less as the novelty wears off. This is wear you can expand and either become a photographer, promoter, or talent scout of some kind. Most of the jobs will get you lifestyle access. This is not a way to make money at first. Later you can utilize your skills to make money if you like. Make sure to use this opportunity to drive through peoples networks. Meet their friends, girlfriends, and bosses. You never know who you may meet. These people can become part of the “You Army” where you will have a rolodex of people on your IG account who invite you out every week to cool events. Keep everything simple in the beginning. Wear simple clothes, have simple intentions and have simple yet ample interactions.