TOOLS TO WIN IN THE MODERN DATING GAME

Guest post by @ManOfStxxx aka ManofSteel

Hey Boys, want to say thank you for taking the time to read this article.

I want to dive into three topics which are:

- Mindset (What makes you unique)

- Becoming rejection-proofed (common G-Rate Signals thrown by women to look out for)

- The Phases of Seduction (Applies to all methods of meeting women)

MINDSET: What makes you unique

You see mindset is key both in Game and in life.

A shift in mindset could determine whether you will be rich or poor, having sex or sexless, and where you will end up in life.

I'm going to talk about mindset in terms of Game but this can also translate to your life in general.

BEGINNER'S MINDSET (GAME)

A beginner mindset in Game is always on the low side of the spectrum then add that with the kind of content they consume and well let's just say it is...in need of repairs.

When you approach a girl for the first time in a bar, event, street, etc you are nervous, scared, and will be fidgeting.

Why is this?

Because several factors are set in place:

• How you were raised about women.

• How you view women.

• Your doubts about your capabilities as a man and as a lover.

• The fact it's a new domain for both you and your brain.

There could be many factors but it all boils down to this.

I'm not going to talk about each factor but we are going to talk about how to change our mindset here.

When you look at a woman, what is the first thing you think about?

For the majority of you, it will be sex maybe a small minority will say, love.

To change your mindset, you need to look at your limiting beliefs regarding women.

Do you think you don't deserve that beautiful girl standing across the street from you?

If you say something that she is out of your league, then what does she have that makes her out of your league?

A pretty face with big titties and big booty. Is that it?

Or the fact that deep down, you don't think you can pull such a girl. But ask yourself why?

Why can't I pull such a girl?

This is the question you should be asking yourself.

For me, my limiting beliefs about women changed the day I saw a guy I knew picking women that I was scared to approach.

This dude was not more handsome than me (I'm not that handsome), not older than me and wasn't some advanced player.

It was an "Aha" kind of moment for 

Cause at that time I was into the "make money and women will come" BS.

That's why I'm saying you guys should be careful about the kind of content you consume.

Things you should know about women:

• Women love sex as much as you do.

• Women are as nervous as you are when you approach them.

• A woman will be attracted to you if she knows that you are a guy who just gets it.

• She is not an angel ( this is something every guy needs to know)

• She expects men to be intimidated by her beauty but when you are not, she can't handle it.

• She doesn't know what she wants in a man. (Some do)

But to name a few.

Knowing this is not enough is it? you've to act it out and I'm going to give you some kinda of an attitude template (my treat!)

It's basically like my Ethos on dating due to the amount of time spent in the Game.

The attitude is: 

I MAKE NO EXCUSES FOR MYSELF. 

I MAKE NO EXCUSES FOR MY DESIRES AS A MAN.

I MOVE THROUGH THE WORLD WITHOUT APOLOGY.

It's simple, bold and direct. Lots of men are making excuses for themselves when they hit on a girl, second-guessing their moves and constantly self-sabotaging themselves as a result.

It's you saying "I'm a sexual man and I'm proud of it".

Nope, it doesn't mean you are arrogant or lack a good sense of humor. You can be warm and friendly despite being direct. After all, it doesn't have anything to do with what you say but rather how you say it.

This is important cause then you understand the need to not be rattled by setbacks cause you learn from your mistakes.

All this translates to how you act and feel about yourself. It's never about how you act and feel towards them.

REJECTION-PROOFED

I believe it's a question every guy wants answered. Based on what I've seen with my method, it is possible but it's effective only in certain areas.

Let's say you walk into a bar and there are 30 women in the bar.

You see there are 3-4 women that are interested in you and half a dozen you can approach and probably get (even more if you are advanced)

Instead of trying to convince the half a dozen to take interest in you, why not go after the 3-4 women that are sub-communicating with you?

That's the method we want to dive into as it ensures a low probability of rejection.

Adding this method to your arsenal is an effective way to get hot chicks since you are only meeting them cause they want you to.

I call it G-rated Signals.

It works in bars, venues, events clubs, etc

Just not that effective in cold approaching women on the street when women are a "moving target."

G-rated Signals is just you spotting "clusters of sex signals" from a girl and then doing something about you.

Let's dive right into the most common ones;

#1 Girlfriends Jabber

When you walk into a bar or club etc etc, women are always looking around for a guy of interest.

Seeing two women whispering about you, giggling and even pointing at you is a sure sign of sex signals (they like you)

Though this is usually the sign you get from younger and sexually inexperienced women as sexually experienced won't be overt with their signal but it doesn't mean they are not interested.

The Girlfriends Jabber is mostly accompanied by...

#2 The Shy Geisha

See when you spot a girl or group of girls checking you out, the most important factor is how she/they diverts their eyes after making eye contact with you.

Does she look up or down or sideways?

Like the pic above, she is looking down and away feigning modesty. If she isn't interested then her eyes will stay on the same level with you or she would probably look up.

She will look back at you within 40-45 seconds (yep, I timed it at one point

#3 Sidelong Eye-balling

Most women won't look at you and giggle since they don't want to seem like they are making a too obvious play for you.

So would rather proceed to make side glances and most men don't notice which I don't blame them for. Being in a loud place and just trying to get your groove isn't going to make you into a G-rated communicator in one day but make sure you pay attention...

No, don't start looking around like you are searching for something, simply use your peripheral vision to spot this.

#4 The Ol' Wrist flash

She looks at you while resting her chin on her knuckles (most times with her palm forward.)

The palms are considered one of the sensual parts of the body cause they are usually hidden.

Doing the above is a woman signaling that she is warming to you and likes you. Also doing this she subtly says you should "come and meet her".

Though there are other signals women give in venues these four (4) signals you will find consistently over time.

Now we got...

- Mindset

- G-Rated signals

- Phases of Seduction...

PHASES OF SEDUCTION

When I was way heavily into the cold approach (not anymore since I have an LTR and two side chicks) I usually noticed not having a clear mental scheme is very detrimental to chances with a girl.

A mental scheme is a system like for ex:

- System for building an IRL social circle of high-quality people.

- System for getting dates through Instagram and dating apps.

- System for transitioning a woman from conversation to sex.

We'll be focusing on the third system.

So how do we take a girl who just gave us a G-rated signal from conversation to sex?

It's simple but not always easy, we are...

- Establishing initial contact and creating Rapport & Comfort.

- Building on the attraction already created.

- Logistics.

- ESTABLISHING INITIAL CONTACT AND CREATING RAPPORT & COMFORT.

After getting the signal, you move in and understandably a lot of dudes are worried about what they should open her with.

So you want to approach her as a man who is different from all the others. First of all some don’ts: 

Don’t start with a compliment, unless it’s unique, genuine, and about something that does not have to do with her body appearance. Try her shoes or her jewelry. (If she’s very attractive, never start with a compliment about her looks.) 

 Don’t start in with any embarrassing lines, like: “Hey, do you believe in love at first sight, or Do you know how much the polar bear weighs... enough to break the ice, line?” 

- Don’t stare at her breasts or body. Keep your eyes locked on her face and eyes. 

Examples of openers to use (remember to form yours)

"Hey, your style looked nice from far, but I had to come to get a closer look" My name is...... (shakes her hand) and you are?

"Hi. I thought I'd come to find out if you're as interesting as you look." and introduce yourself with a handshake.

 “Hi, I was just on my way 

to (location), but you caught my eye. I liked that bracelet/watch/bag/etc.”

How's your day/night going? (My favorite)

Remember, with a flirtatious smile and then you open.

We can then make small talk about the venue and talk about things there.

Then you proceed to seek commonalities and build interest.

You find commonalities by talking about 

- Location

- Career 

- Hobbies

You can also add travel to the list.

For building comfort, we are talking about 

- Family

- Dreams

- Hobbies

- Origins (where they are from)

- BUILDING ON THE ATTRACTION ALREADY CREATED

Here we are teasing and flirting with her based on statements and questions we ask.

Say she tells you she is a lawyer. You can tease her about it by saying "objection, your honor" anytime she says something you don't agree with.

Talk + eye contact + smiling + pauses = sexual tension. (a good thing to have in your interaction)

Remember: Teasing is flirting. The best kind of flirtation with a woman is to tease her, to bust her balls, to let her know that she is not on a pedestal. Make fun of her.

- LOGISTICS

Like Bowtied social circle used to say, "Logistics trump Game". The importance of logistics is undisputed. Logistics is everything that either facilitates or complicates the interaction.

Good logistics can get you laid most of the time, likewise, bad logistics can ruin potential lays.

Once lost a potential lay because I forgot to download Uber or any transportation app on my phone.

How Logistics can get you laid

Let me ask you a simple question.

Who is more likely to get laid?

A. The guy with a decent game and lives close to the club.

B. The guy with an elite game but lives far away.

Answer: The guy who lives close to the club. Since the level of compliance to get her from the club to his place will be lower.

Sure the guy with an elite game can still pull girls but he would need an insane amount of compliance from girls. So it's a no-brainer answer.

This is what I do in terms of logistics:

First; items that I have on me a gum, mints, or other breath fresheners and a pack of cigarettes (preferably light cigarettes) with a lighter.

- Condoms (you never can tell)

Say a club closes by 4 a.m. with the primetime being around 2 a.m. I'm always at the club two hours earlier which at the time, it starts getting packed. 

You use all that free time to:

- Get comfortable with the venue

- Do warm-ups so I can get in "my social flow"

So why I'm striking convos with girls, I'm also making sure to not leave a girl without at least a number closing. The number I get serves as a backup just in case I don't find my "girl for the night".

Pro-tip: Strike conversations with everyone from bartenders to hired guns to guys at that venue which comes back to you as pre-selection and social proof from both men and women.

Then I get to ask logistics questions like:

- Who are you here with?

- What are you doing tomorrow?

- Where are you staying? 

- What are you doing later tonight?

Courtesy of Bowtied Social Circle

AFTER-PARTY INVITES

After-party Invites are one of the best ways to close cause you are building a pipeline of women who will want to party with you and if done well, you can set up dates with it.

Setting up dates will depend on the level of compliance and desire on her part.

We are not going to dive into that.

Instead, I use this technique I call "Hype Hook" which is you hyping up an upcoming after-party (lots of people are coming, lots of booze, cool people, etc.)

- Invite them to the after-party after closing them since a lot of girls like to party after closing time.

The best part is if you find a girl you want to hook up with then they serve as a backup so you can decide not to invite them out for the after-party. They text you about it, and you can just make up some excuses about the after-party being full but they can come next week.

This raises your perceived value as a party connector which will make the party type of girl want to screw you.

Think about it, if you start conversations with girls in groups of fours, twos, or threes and you make sure to get their contact info then you can be sure of having 10+ girls coming with you to the after-party. Massive preselection and social proof, right?

Now the big question is where do you find after-parties that you can invite girls to?

Don't worry, mate. I got ya

You can play this in three different ways:

- You host an after-party

You simply tell girls to come over that you are having an after-party.

Just make sure that your place is clean and ready.

Make sure that the following "party" items are available:

- Cigarettes

- Booze

- Music

- Food & snacks

Also, make sure there is an equal ratio of men and women. Too many chicks and fewer guys will lead to massive cock-blocks plus too many girls won't get attention which may make them want to drag their friends away.

You can do this by inviting your bros or cool guys you meet while out

Besides inviting other dudes to your after-party as huge benefits like:

- Higher chances of being invited to their parties.

- They bring booze with them.

Just to name a few...

- SOMEONE'S ELSE AFTER-PARTY

If you don't want to host a house party in which case, you can invite them to someone else After-party.

You can simply ask some dudes during/after closing hours and tell them you have girls who still want to party after closing hours if they have an after-party.

Most of the time, they are either hosting or know of one and make sure they have booze (super important)

The best part is if you have a serious logistical issue, the same guys will help you since you help them by bringing in girls to the After-party.

That concludes the post. I hope this post has been of immense value to you.

Questions and comments are welcomed.

I want to thank Man of Steel for writing this excellent article

Follow him on Twitter:

https://twitter.com/ManOfStxxx