Sometimes You Have to Sit Still to Move Forward
Hey guys,
Been on the couch all week with a sprained ankle
Thanking God that’s all I did
Was just walking on a really messed up street under construction after a night out
So happy I had my boots on didn’t even notice any pain until the next day
One time in college first week there I hurt both ankles
I remember having this big bag of ice on my ankles
Didn’t eat much back then but I think my roommate brought me stuff to eat
We didn’t get along at the end but this was the nicest he was
Before he got voted out of his pledge group by his pledge class because he was insane when he wasn’t high
That’s so rare to happen that he really fell in the wrong crowd after that and got into all the drugs
He was actually quite helpful at meeting new people in the beginning and he knew people already going to the school somehow
At first we made a pretty good team
He did a lot of the leg work and looking back I didn’t do much but provide some support
We were just there for each other because we had come from the same school so we would make each other laugh but he got the booze
He knew directions way better
He knew of parties
I have no idea how
But he knew a couple of key individuals
One was a girl and she was already connected in somehow
We all got pretty close
Until him and I started meeting even more people
She found her own group on campus and we were so busy with all these people
I met my best friend I still talk to by rushing the same frat
I just had gotten a call about it
I was too involved with the girl down the hallway who is sadly dead now
She was the first girl I ever was with
So I had planned on just being with the people I knew and not rushing until spring
But that call got me interested
Then I said yes I’ll stop by
I didn’t even know what rushing was and my roommate was like ya me and a buddy are going to go rush
Sounded to formal to me
I’m a very informal person
I hate meetings
Weddings
Any real formality seems forced and fake
So mine happened more genuinely
I didn’t even bother to look at other frats
I was hooked
The guys were all on prohormones and funny as hell
Very weed friendly and outgoing
It wasn’t your typical frat
Perfect
Didn’t want anything typical
I learned so much being there
Bringing people by
Always meeting new people there
There are too many stories to tell
I can’t even remember them all
From strippers in the basement where I got on stage with them
The only one to do it
The pledges the next day came running up to me
I was hungover with my sunglasses on for once
They thought I was Jesus or something
My nick name at the time was Dr. P
Based on the name of an edible
It was my alter ego that would come out when I drank
He would be quiet when I was high
Now that I don’t smoke
Both my personalities have merged as one
I can just be myself at all times
It’s the most powerful freeing feeling in the world
There is a part of me who is a frightended boy who can play victim at times
That comes from my father’s abuse at times even though he was a very present dad and really funny
He had the same sides I realize now
Extremely powerful but there was this hurt side to him that he inevitably passed on to me
My goal is to break that cycle
You probably have some shit in your genes that you need to break or water down at least
Forgive your parents
I know mine did the best they could with me
He had intense abuse as a child and was separated from his brother and sister in a nasty divorce where they spouses switched husbands
I don’t even know what that means to this day but it fucked up his brother and sister more
They had even more abuse than he did
My mom came from a very nice family in South Africa so they didn’t even know what drugs were and booze was drank with dinner 1-2 beers or so
They didn’t have anyone in the family with drug or alcohol issues
I met them and they are extremely well adjusted
Her dad died at 5 however so there was definitely something there and her brother was 14 years older than her
Same age gap as her and my dad
Her brother could be super mean but he has lost his father at around 19 years old
I lost mine at 28
I’m sure it affected him a lot as he stepped into that role
I know this is not my usual writing but I’m on an empty stomach Icing my foot and this feels good to type out before I eat something are start my fairly bland day
I’m not sure I’ll even publish this but I don’t think any of these people read this and this is my form of therapy right now
I have been reflecting a lot this week since there is only so much I can do from the couch in a day as you could imagine
I know of a girl who lost both her legs
She had the same name as the girl who I lost my virginity too
We were very good friends and would have dated if we weren’t in a relationship
I talk about this more on my podcast but I have no idea how she navigated loses bot her legs slowly as a disease spread killing off the nerves
She was on the couch and bed for years with all sorts of emotions as I’m sure she navigated through life
A lot of the women I know have had tough lives at some point either in their past or present
Same with a lot of guys but they don’t share as much as girls do
If girls really trust you and are interested in you they tell you everything
This is where I learned more about Red Pill shit than any RP Guru out there
I almost became jaded liek How tf could you do that?
They are such emotionally driven people that they end up in such precarious situations
For a time my emotions drove everyting I did
Logic was out the window so I can relate
As I get older and recongnize my emotions and try to be more rational I can see how they struggle
Theire brains are simply wired different
They have a much more emotional part of their brain that’s for survival and potentially for raising children
Their goal is to find the best man they can and have his babies and nurture those kids
Don’t try and get unconditional love from them
They keep that for the kids IMO
They will love in a different way but it’s for the benefit of the kids
You can love both unconditionally and perhaps some conditions for her
She can too but once the kids come in the attention is supposed to be on them
The unconditionally love you get in this life as a male is from your mother
Most of this is from experience and pure speculation
From what I have experienced and others this seems to be the case
And that’s just fine
What you can do is establish a strong connection with your mom
If you have lost her find a grandma or perhaps a substitute for her that could listen to you as your own
Not 100% about that so you may need to consult a professional
Your mom whether she is states away or street away or you still live with her should have tons of uncondtional love to give you
See her at least once a week
Call her often
I used to be such a daddy’s boy and really didn’t like my mother
Now that couldn’t be any farther from the truth
I realize she always wanted the best for me and supported me in every endeavor
She knows what I teach
She supports it
I told her I learned half of it at least from her
She broke two fingers his year and I took her to the ER and helped her out when I could
She has been coming over daily and doing just basic tasks like some laundry or cleaning some dishes that I can always do with ease
If you have both our parents you are very lucky
Call them today or soon
Tell them how much you love them and appreciate them
They will reciprocate
Their generation came from harder times and saying the L word wasn’t always on everyone’s mind
If you lead with anything from saying “I love you" to your parents
Showing girls your life or what you enjoy
Even if they don’t enjoy it as much as you do or at all
They like spending time with a guy who is passionate baout his hobbies and lifestlye
I don’t regret my hurting my ankle at all
I was doing what I love to do
My mom has 5 herniated discs and has rolled her ankles many times playing pro tennis
She was top 100 in the world at one point
Fast as hell, the fastest person I’ve seen run on a court even out of some of the pros these days all juiced up
She destroyed he body to chase after a fuzzy ball if you look at it like that
However, she’s a champion 2 times all American and highly competitive
She only remembers her loses
Her extreme competetion was put onto me and I am highly competitive in what I do in social dynamics which I hope to help many people in the world and already have quite a few
It’s extremely fulfilling and I can do it from the comfort of my couch
So that lazy side on my dad’s side who he enjoyed reading for 4-5 hours a day and not moving much
I can be lazy while pumping out a ton of writing, podcasting, or tweets for you guys as well as developing programs or consulting
My brother is on his honey moon right now and he had to get a doctor because he got ill
Likely due to dehydration which both my parents and I have landed in the ER for and is why I created Hydr8
He should have taken a tub with him
Oh well everyone learns at their own pace
Time for me to hobble to the kitchen and make something to eat
Until next time,
-BTSC
My own blueprint I created to help you grow a social circle in 3-6 months in any city
16 Cities around the World
Keep these up. The stream of consciousness style is hypnotizing and interesting