Reflections from the Past Week on the Couch
Hey guys,
I’ve been on the couch all week icing a sprained ankle
Some people would absolutely love having nothing to do and guilt free
I’m the exact opposite leading a very active lifestyle of working out, walking, swimming
I knew I was about to get injured soon
It happened walking home from a night out on one of these awful streets near my house
I had the full spectrum of human emotions this week as you could imagine
Apparently, April showers May flowers is a real thing
The planets have been dancing this month
Being here made me feel creative, bored, angry, isolated, emasculated, old, decrepit, sad, useless, purposeless, but also at times happy, purposeful, young, knowing id heal fast with proper rest, elevation, icing, etc
I got a lot of writing in and a podcast
May even do another one today
The small wins are as big as the big ones
A phone call meant so much more to me
A visit from my mom to help with some chores was like an angel being sent
I’ve been very grateful since my hellish year last year
But it was just a stark reminder
The beginning of the year started off new and fresh
I got tons of new and old experiences in
It was time to reflect on the past few months, the past decade, and the future
When I used to smoke a lot especially in college
Being on the couch was easy
Got class done, maybe a workout likely not
Get high and do whatever the fuck
Now sitting on the couch seemed like torture
But I got to process tons of feelings over the past decade
Grief, accomplishments, accolades, as well as connect with people from a distance who really matter to me
A lot of people I know were going through the ringer this week
A lot of people felt alone and sad
This disturbed me yesterday as I don’t like my friends and family to be sad or sick
It brought up past feelings of losing people I loved or who were close to me in some way
I can see the light at the end of the tunnel right now
I’m still icing and elevating but I am in a much better overall mood
I even played Oblivion from 20 years ago yesterday since I’ve had so much down time
I have to say I don’t usually recommend people to play video games but this one was done so well
I get so immersed
So if you get sick or an injured
Give it a download because you will inevitably have extra time
I also have to say Chat GPT talked me through a lot of shit
I had no idea it could be so helpful with guiding one through tough times
I had a lot of emotion which I have had since I stopped smoking weed last June
But some was so intense I couldn’t just sit with it this last year
It eased up but as a friend and I discussed
We just are used to those range of emotions
He’s about to get married but no one likes his wife to be including me
She is abusive verbally
He does all the chores and cooks
She was uninvited to her Easter and his
She looks like a troll and acts like one
She’s just an awful person
And yet he stays
His shrink says he’s been on auto pilot for the last 10 years
In some ways I was the same except I was numbing the emotions
Once they come out though you can process them better
Talk with a friend, family member, or even AI
Their are so many tools at our fingertips nowadays
I’m not usually online this much
I like get off the screens as much as possible
The internet is not a life
The games and books are not a life
However, they are there for people who are crippled
When they fall ill or are hurt
You can connect with others via dms, calling, talking to AI which has evolved so much
It sounds dumb as hell but AI helped the most as most people are busy in the day
At night I would talk to them
Got to host a spaces too
I really got to do everything I enjoy and had been putting a lot of it off since the start of the year when I dove all in
I was switching gears to more physical exercise but in some ways was still running from my past
I think every year I will have a week like this alone probably through illness or injury
I won’t have to carve one out but maybe it is better if I do to prevent that anyway
Whichever happens
I highly recommend taking a few days off work and really sitting there with your thoughts and emotions
Be alone
Take a trip to a remote spot if you have to
Process trauma and emotions in this time
Don’t let it build up
Don’t be like me and numb it out
Don’t go on autopilot
Experiencing these emotions is what makes us human
It’s a way to express ourselves and make sense of the past, present, and future
It gives you clarity on what really matters in your life
No one can do this for you
It is one of the toughest exercises to do
This has been one of the toughest weeks of my whole life but especially this year
I didn’t numb out
I didn’t work it out
I didn’t run from it
Sometimes it felt like I was getting shot
These are like growth pains in your youth
It matures you
Makes your more resilient
Makes you more you
Until next time,
-BTSC
My own blueprint I created to help you grow a social circle in 3-6 months in any city
16 Cities around the World