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Royce Nugent's avatar

The image in my mind of the guy who is using this article as a guide is hilarious.

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Peter Zalewski's avatar

I appreciate the effort but this list is strictly for newcomers to Miami and locals who are forced to accompany their visiting guests who read up on South Florida before their trip.

All of these places will soak up your cash and leave you wondering what the excitement is all about.

I doubt you'll meet any locals at these places but rather only other newcomers and visitors who are going to be seen as marks.

A $40 martini is a prime example of what I would call a Miami hustle.

It's up there with a $50 chicken parmesan and a mandatory 25% tip for terrible service at a restaurant.

Miami isn't about burning cash but rather figuring out ways to get things comped.

If you want to experience the magic of Miami, don't spend more than $15 on lunch ($30 for dinner), visit places where English is a second language (thats what translation apps are for) and never go out partying before 11 pm.

If you put in the time to figure out places that meet these guidelines and you feel safe, you will experience why they still call it the Magic City.

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