How to Quit Any Addiction

I’ve been addicted to almost everything

My crippling 13 year marijuana addiction

My addiction to opiates

Nicotine

Gave myself a caffeine addiction this year to see the hype

A see why people like it

But it was easy to quit like didn’t even think about it for more than a day

Nicotine I quit by smoking more weed

Usually I replaced vices with more vices

I noticed I needed less weed if I had more women

Or If I could go out and perform for validation or attention

I would always dress the opposite of everyone

For example in college in Boulder everyone dressed like a hobo

That’s how I met my college best friend

We both looked at each other at the bus stop for the college bus to campus

We lived in Will Ville right off campus in bigger style dorms

I said who tf is this hobo?

He was like who is the preppy kid?

I wore only Brooks Brothers as my father taught me

Eventually I had a concoction of all those style of clothes to polo underwear, to Ferragamo Italian Loafers

I was always dressed to impress and I stuck out like a sore thumb

I even taught the frat how to dress years later in Frattire

My public speaking is my number 1 fear but I have a feeling that won’t make me as scared anymore

So I only did one or two until I told someone else to take it over

My fear had let me not be able to teach

I guised it with saying Oh well didn’t want to, let’s smoke weed, take some bars, or whatever drugs were around

One time I bought 100 tabs of acid to sell the the frat

I sold 30 overnight

A lot of them tripped balls and too hard

One guy took three tabs

I told him not to

I would take a full one or even just half

In this period I started taking halves every few days, mix it with some xanax or weed or heroin once

Heroin and acid were wonderful

Felt like my soul and ego were dancing for once

Remember the heroin was sold to us as Opium

I figured it out fast that it wasn’t

So did another

But we didn’t care

As far as I’m concerned all the drugs are heroin for me

Weed was by far the hardest to quit

I had smoked spice before

But weed was always there for me

Even though it made me feel like a paranoid anxious wreck

That was my familiar chaos I grew up with so I escaped with it too

My mom is the only sober person I know

I define sober free from all substances even caffeine or nicotine

She has white tea now and then which has like 8mg of caffeine and she likes chocolate

She has bags of the stuff like drugs but only allows herself 2-4 squares a day

My brother is an addict for coffee and would shit his brains out all day for it

I’m going to suggest he boof it

Check out online coffee enemas

There is a couple addicted to it

Caffeine is very powerful if you have no tolerance

I know most people reading this have a caffeine addiction

It’s the most used drug in the world

I started with a food addiction

Ate my feelings as my dad was in the hospital

Said I wouldn’t do that and dropped from 215 to 155 in 3 months or so

When I went to college I didn’t want to eat as that’s all the fatass Texans know how to do

I also didn’t want to play video games either my other addiction and many of you have had that before too

So I didn’t

I filled the void with endless weed, endless friends, endless attention from girls, the guys, then the drugs at the end

I was nicknamed Dr. P after an edible

After being labeled Bill Clinton, Peter North the pornstar

I’ll let you guess why

I thought I was a god

People worshipped the ground I walked on

I was nice to everyone

Made friends everywhere I went

When I didn’t like them anymore

I got rid of them and made them suffer

I hurt my roommate, my big, my gf

They had hurt me too so why not right?

Well the old me even a month ago woulda said fuck em

They all helped me in their own ways

They were fighting their own demons

My big had a bad break up and his dad died

I told him I was there for him but he never wanted to talk

Eventually living with him was awful even before all that

I only enjoyed living with chill people at the end of college

It was two guys who kept to themselves mostly

And my best friend

The year before was decent too with a girl, this gay guy who was super nice, and still my big though

I wanted my best friend

We took over the house the final year like my Big had done

No wonder the other two stayed in their rooms

Devin and Evan were their names

One was from the frat

We liked each other but kept our distance

Same pledge class

We used to workout when we saw each other

He didn’t relate to all the weed and drugs

He liked drinking though but then that slowly bored him I could tell

We didn’t leave on the best of notes because I knew I would have to clean the basement

It was everyone else’s shite and he suggested I start there

I threw a fit in my room

Slamming doors and being crazy barred out

Remember I don’t like being assigned what to do or told what to do at all

Who does?

But I was damned back then if anyone would

Now I listen and determine if I need to listen

If I’m getting out of line

I usually confer with myself though or my best friend or brother will say something

He’s like your a narcissist

I said OFC I am, you just figured that out

Been trying to lower that trait as it is the hardest one to do

Took a test and was off the charts

28 out of 32

One of the tests you aren’t supposed to score high on

Celebs are 18

When I tell you I thought I was God on earth

I meant it

Used to have my brother pray to me

My gf was praying 2 years ago and I said she should pray to me

Dead serious at the time

Now I realize we all have this god like potential

Are we using it for the right reasons?

I have been a forgiving god and a angry one like in the bible

But I am only human

However, to become more powerful and actually god like you need to create something

I’ve created things before to prove something to myself, others, out of fomo, to even help like Hydr8

Not interesting to me anymore

Would throw it into the villagers well and tell them I blessed it for strength, fortitude, and good fortune

Give them the placebo effect and hydrated

They would drink too much and shit their brains out but you get the point

What do we do with this god like energy given to us by God?

Do we create or destroy?

I liked to do both for so long

Now I like to mainly create

I am destroying my old ego, healing from my past, leading the trauma healing since I have the most experience out of anyone I know

I have done biofeedback therapy, biomodulation therapy, talk therapy, and if you don’t do the actions like this

Then it matters not

Those are tools but you must use them to dig

To drill

To find what you enjoy

I’ve introduced video games back in my life to connect with my brother and best friend

I’m playing oblivion because it’s from my past and it’s symbolic of my growth

I used to get so upset and could barely play

Now I go through it with utter ease

I don’t escape into these games

I don’t play everyday

I only play 1-4 hours and only 1-2 at a time

If I do three it’s because I’m connecting with my friend or my past self

Remember I can’t exercise right now like I want to because of my ankle

Also exercise was an escape compeltely

I would dissociate in the gym

After a swim I would feel awful thinking that was the cure

I’d walk around for hours hoping to feel better and it would barely help

Any of these biohacking tools you see online are useless if you don’t have a solid foundation

Like building a house on a shitty foundation

Any minor storm could blow it apart or away

The only way you can quit is by connecting and creating

There is no other way

This is also the way to fight your demons

Use them as fuel

Find outlets

Could be writing, cooking, reading, making a website

I don’t know

You do

You always have until the world told you that you need external stimuli like women, coffee, shit tier food, drugs, validation, comparing yourself to others

All that keeps you in a cycle

Forever

You won’t ever know who you truly are

All I know is that won’t be me and I hope it won’t be you either

Until next time,

-BTSC