How to go from being a Intermediate Player to an Advanced one
Guest post by BowtiedPlayer
Today we have a guest speaker and one of the first guys to talk about game in the Jungle
He wrote an excellent article below on getting from an Intermediate level to Advanced
Tired of banging Tinderella’s?
Then let’s get started
Intermediate to advanced game: getting over leveling behaviors
If you follow my content, you’re probably not brand new to the game. A big thing that I see guys struggle with is that they get into this space, they get some skills, they even start meeting some girls, but it’s not really the quality or consistency that they want. We call that intermediate purgatory. I’ve been there. You’re at a point where you’re definitely not a soy guy anymore, but you’re also not quite where you want to be either. I will address what you can do about this.
One of the things that you’re probably doing is exhibiting what are called leveling behaviors, meaning giving off honest signals that you’re a 7 or 8 instead of a 9 or 10. I don’t want you to fixate on just adjusting the literal behaviors, but I want you to try to look one step deeper and address the mindsets behind those behaviors.
Here are some of those things to avoid:
Avoid harmless rebel behavior
Guys come into this community sometimes with a mild, meek personality where they don’t put themselves out there, but then overcorrect to silly proportions. The goal is to be able to express yourself freely. The goal isn’t to put on some kind of song and dance schtick or act like you’re real life reality TV.
I wrote an entire article about this:
To be fair, in the process of all of this, your personality may change and you may discover new interests where your personality naturally evolves into something potentially more provocative. That’s completely normal and fine. I’m not talking about that.
Avoid sparring-style flirting
I don’t know if there is an actual term for this, so I just made one up. Here’s a fictitious scenario where I mention that I was in the military.
Me: I was in the military
Girl: Hmm that seems kind of reckless
Me, soy response: (Soft voice) Oh…yeah maybe…
Me, sparring-style flirting: (Smirk smile) Yeah girl, I’m so reckless, you think you can keep up with me?!
Me, actually the correct response: Got it, looks like we’re not compatible. Bye (leaves)
The soy response is obviously wrong because I’d be compromising my values. Most guys can easily see that. Where they get caught up though is with the sparring-style flirting, the kind of stuff you’d see in early 2010s PUA YouTube videos. It might look entertaining on video, but it’s not really how you’re going to find a fun and compatible interaction. This is guys who are too focused on “passing the shit test” instead of seeing if she’s actually a girl who is down for you or not. Some girls just aren’t. The goal isn’t to win every girl, and if anything, that just seems like another derivation of scarcity mindset if you can’t walk away and think you need to “win” every interaction.
The thing is, you CAN AND WILL get 7s and occasionally 8s with that kind of behavior. Real 10s will look at you like you’re stupid, because frankly, you are if you’re behaving like that. This is where it becomes a mindfuck for guys, because the new behaviors that got them out of soy territory and started to actually get them laid, albeit with 7s, those new behaviors end up being a roadblock to them getting with the real 10s that they wanted all along.
Stop watching too much theory videos
Seriously, it’s ruining your common sense. You don’t need to outsource every decision you make to Fresh & Fit, Jocko, Jordan Peterson, Rollo, whoever—and I by in large like those guys. I think they’d agree with my statement on this one too. It’s fine to dabble in some of this stuff from time to time or for entertainment purposes, but at a certain point, it ends up getting you stuck in your head instead of using your common sense.
This stuff is GOOD for beginners to show them how the world actually works and so they don’t get finessed by girls who are manipulative. At a certain point though, it’s not helping you anymore.
Here’s what you should be doing.
To get from intermediate to advanced, treat it like learning game again for the first time
You’re not a beginner anymore, but bring back the beginner learning mindset. Treat it like you’re starting out all over again. You’re not, but treat it like that. Get rejected. Be open to getting rejected.
One of the reasons I noted in an earlier article on why guys don’t get the kind of girls they want is that they’re not actually approaching them. It’s as simple as that.
“Look, if you’re not actually going up to the baddies, no wonder why you’re not dating them. Probably when you started your self-development journey, you realized that you needed to get out of your comfort zone, and maybe you’ve made some good progress toward that end, but it’s time to take it to a new level and hold yourself accountable. The true baddies in the club or at a private party, are you actually going up to them? Or are you settling for the type of girls that you feel comfortable with?
If you’re not actually interacting with them, then none of what I wrote earlier really matters. You lose by default when you don’t even play.”
Original article:
Conclusion
The changes that you made to get from A to B aren’t what will necessarily get you from B to C. You’ve made some good progress and had some good wins along the way, but it’s time to take the training wheels off now. Get rid of those behaviors that are leveling you with the 7s and 8s, and you’ll be on a path to get out of intermediate purgatory.
Find me: https://twitter.com/Bowtiedplayer